I am a Garbage Plate
Mustard, ketchup, onions, and beef,
hot sauce, baked beans, and toasted buns:
I am a garbage plate.
Tomatoes and lettuce and sweet relish:
I am a garbage plate.
Hot dogs and sausage, mac salad and cheese,
French fried potatoes and coleslaw:
I am a garbage plate.
by Cara Shulman
Read more Parody
Available in print
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Originally from Canandaigua, NY,
Cara Shulman received her B.A. in professional writing from SUNY Cortland. Currently going wherever the wind takes her, Cara enjoys hiking, traveling, editing, and playing her ukulele, though she strongly dislikes bubble baths. You can check out the online satire newspaper she co-founded at
cortlandpotato.tumblr.com or send her fan mail at caradshulman@gmail.com.
